Indian Vedanta teacher Sukumar Shetty about Developing the skill of non-reacting
Advaita Vedanta is the eastern philosophy of non - dualism. However very interesting on an intellectual level, it is not always easy to integrate this spiritual knowledge in our daily lives. No wonder , says Vedanta teacher Sukumar Shetty. Understanding alone is not enough to make spirituality part of your life. Born as human beings , we all have to deal with samskara , a mass of unfulfilled wishes and desires , unresolved doubts and fears. This is what keeps us away from simply being at ease with ourselves. In this interview Sukumar Shetty explains how we can neutralize samskara. Illustrating his point of view with his own personal experiences.
What is the core of your teaching?
Sukumar: "Usually we give a lot of importance to the world outside. Problems and situations that arise in our lives are very important to us. In fact, most of the time we are running and running to fulfill our ambitions and goals. Advaita Vedanta says that we do this only for the sake of one thing: to get a state of comfort in ourselves. Everything we do in life is for the sake of fulfillment inside. There is a state in ourselves where we are free from any sense of duality, conflict and clash. Actually , it is our natural state and we can experience it any time we want. The first step in spirituality is that we understand that this is what we are looking for. The second step is to realize that we are most of the time searching in the wrong direction. Searching for inner comfort, our attention drifts more and more into the world outside. We are pushing life with greater and greater force, expanding the field of accomplishment and making life more and more complicated. The more we run , the more stressful and exhausted we become. And the inner comfort seems to move only further away from us. The core of the teaching of Vedanta is: stop running!"
Although I understand that everything is for the sake of the fulfillment inside , life goes on with all its compulsions and attractions in the world outside. How come we keep on looking in the wrong direction?
Sukumar: "Understanding alone is not enough. There is an involuntary force in us that we can call samskara. It is also called destiny, but samskara is not something up in the sky , in the planets or the stars. It is a mass of unfulfilled wishes and desires , unresolved fears and doubts. We all have this program in ourselves loaded with wishes, ambitions, desires. It is an undefined force in us , that comes up in the form of emotion, compulsion, restlessness , stress and involuntary speed. This force pushes us away from our natural state. And the more we are pushed away from that , the more miserable we become. Ask yourself a simple question: what is it you really need at this moment? Although we heard many times , read many times, contemplated many times on the fact that everything we do is only for the purpose to get back to our natural state , where we are comfortable with ourselves, still we are hooked by certain ideas. It might be an idea as: before I feel comfortable , I want the people around me to be comfortable. Or: I need financial security before I can be comfortable and peaceful. All these ideas come up as a resistance to relax and be with that natural state of comfort in yourself."
Is there any possibility to change this program?
Sukumar: "Yes , it is possible to neutralize your samskara , to defeat your emotions , wishes and desires. The scriptures of Vedanta propagate a different opinion on this point than Western psychology. You don't need to dive deep into your own unconscious mind , swim there and look at your own conditionings. Don't do that, because it is endless. Actually, you have to do only one thing : to wait with alertness. The root of your samskara will automatically appear in the surface of your conscious mind. It will appear as a compulsion to react. Samskara always appears in the form of a compulsion to react. You show a reaction to the situation, a reaction from the world outside comes back. That hooks on the existing samskara in you , which picks up more speed and intensity now. So your reaction adds importance to the samskara and expands it. That's why we have to do only one thing: to develop the skill of non-reacting. That is the ultimate practice of spirituality. This is how samskara gets neutralized and terminated. That's how it works. When a tendency to react comes up: just wait. Waiting is purification."
Somehow it sounds too simple to be true.
Sukumar: "Oh, but be careful. There is a trap in this practice. Let's take a clear look to this skill of non-reacting. As long as we experience our life as bad and painful , we have a strong motivation to learn not to react and become more peaceful. When I am in stress or anxiety, I feel that it is necessary to relax. After practicing relaxation and non - reacting for a while , you feel okay again. Our problems and suffering have come to an end. And what do we do when things are okay ? We allow ourselves to move and encourage our own tendency to find new goals again. Once again the world outside attracts us. We will give great importance to it again because it is nice and beautiful. This is a danger. Feeling nice is a trap. It pulls you towards attraction and once you step into that, it grips you and you realize that you are caught. That's why we have to be cautious to be aware that we don't misuse the tranquility, the comfort which we experience through the practices of yoga and spirituality. The practice has to be further exercised in the direction of defeating our own compelling forces."
How did you come to this concept of non-reacting?
Sukumar: "I will tell you my personal story. There was a period in my life when I was in a state of anxiety and terrible restlessness. My mind was hazy and distorted all the time and I didn't know what to do about it. My biggest problem was that I was angry. And whenever anger came up, I saw a very genuine reason for that. I was so clever that I could prove to the rest of the world why I was angry and everybody agreed with me. And when everybody agreed with me , my anger was growing, because I thought it was justified. So my anger grew and grew. I came to a point where I was so angry with the world , with all people doing stupid things, that I didn't know how to live with it anymore. I thought: there are two solutions. Either I take a gun and kill all these people or I make an end to my own life. When I came to that point I became afraid of myself. Because somehow I knew that none of these things would be a real solution to my problem. I clearly saw that I needed help and I started to look for it in the field of spirituality. First I came in touch with Transcendental Meditation. I thought: aha, all these problems in our lives, all these emotions, it is all a game of the mind. So the mind has to be subdued and the bliss of life is in the silence of the mind. Silence of the mind of the ultimate goal of spirituality."
Like many spiritual teachers say. Was it the end of your personal struggle?
Sukumar: "No, it wasn't. I was convinced that silence of the mind could be reached by meditation. So I started going more and more into meditation. I was doing less and less , most of the time sitting and meditating, sitting and meditating. What happened ? As long as I was sitting in meditation, the mind became quiet. But the moment I got up and went outside: bang! All the old patterns came up again. Even after a while I noticed that my basic patterns had not changed at all. No improvement. A big conflict inside me came up. I couldn't understand that, although I had meditated for such a long time, the mind was still not dead. I ran back to my room to meditate. I started to become afraid of my own mind. There was a new conflict in me and again that was growing and growing. I didn't know what to do and where to go."
How did you come over this stage?
Sukumar: "One day my eye fell upon a passage of the Bhagavad Gita that gave me an understanding of what I was doing. It said: nobody can find accomplishment in the silence of the mind. Because silence of the mind is also an illusion, just like the activity of the mind. The whole field of mind is nothing but a relative field of struggling and suffering. You cannot put an end to that by going into silence. This was new to me. I became more and more curious about this knowledge. Meanwhile I got to know my Vedanta teacher Shastri in Bangalore. He explained to me that you cannot neutralize your samskara by going into silent meditation alone. There are two aspects in this process. One is what we call manolaya, quietening the mind. The mental forces are tranquilized and the mind becomes quiet for a while. You can do that by relaxing the body, slowing down the breath, by chanting or any yoga practice that brings you in a state of calmness. It is a very good practice , but the tendencies of your samskara don't get altered in that state. They remain exactly the same. That's why the practice doesn't end here. From this point , it has to be applied in a dynamic and active process. This is what is called citta nasha in the scriptures."
What is meant by citta nasha?
Sukumar: "Citta nasha" is terminating the patterns that come up in a form of compelling reactions. It is the weapon of non-reaction. One day I was talking with my teacher about my anger. He asked me: 'Do you find that every time you become angry there is a reason behind it?' I answered: 'Of course. My reasons are so strong and justified that I can convince the whole word that it is normal to become angry.' My teacher said: 'Next time when any anger comes up, try to disconnect it from the reason.' He explained that anger - or any other emotion - that comes up, immediately gets hooked to an external reason. Without this reason the emotion cannot sustain itself for a very long time. You can ask yourself what came first: the emotion or the situation that seemed to cause the emotion. But that 'chicken or egg-question' is actually irrelevant. Only one thing is very sure: the moment the emotion gets hooked by an external situation, the mind begins to chew on it and the emotion strengthens itself in that way. That's why you have to disconnect yourself from the reason that you consider as causing your emotion. I was using the example of anger, but it is true for all our emotions. The moment you see something, immediately a reaction comes from inside. There is fear, jealousy, insecurity or hatred. Whatever may be the nature how it comes out doesn't matter. One emotion is actually not different from the other. All of them are equally enemies of the self. Non - reacting is the most practical aspect of spirituality , because it leads to unbinding myself from the compelling forces in me."
What is the relation between manolaya and citta nasha?
Sukumar: "We cannot practise citta nasha straight away. Our compelling forces and patterns usually come out with a lot of speed. Before we are aware of it, they have expressed themselves in speech or physical action. I have to create a gap of awareness between the moment that the pattern comes up in my mind and the moment of expression. Unless I am able to create a gap, there is no chance for me to turn the pattern down. That is the importance of manolaya, a certain tranquility and calmness in the mind. Without tranquility there is no gap. So again, be careful not to waste the calmness of the mind by once again going into the fun of life. If you have a proper spiritual understanding, you see that manolaya is not meant for making life beautiful again. The tranquility of the mind has to be applied to beat down the compelling forces which we call samskara. That's where citta nasha comes in. Disconnect your emotion or tendency to react from the reason and just stay with it. Face it. Further there is nothing more to do. When you don't feed the emotion by your reaction or by chewing on the reason, it dies its own death. It faces its own defeat inside."
Let's go back to your personal experiences. You tried this and it worked?
Sukumar: "Well , actually it was a process that took a lot of time. I remember the first time my teacher told me about the power of non- reacting and I decided to try it. The very next time my anger came up, I tried it and it didn't work. I became angry with my teacher now, went back to him and said: 'Why do you tell me something that doesn't work?' He asked me some questions about the concrete situation and told me I made two mistakes. I started to practise in a situation that brought up very strong anger in me. He told me that it would not work that way. A child will never learn to run straight away. It begins with small steps, it stumbles and falls down, gets up and tries again. Falling and getting up is a very natural process when we are learning something. My teacher said: 'Don't get frustrated when it doesn't work. Accept it and try again the next time. Start with small situations. Make a beginning from wherever you can. That is a wise beginning.' The second mistake I made was that I tried to apply non-reacting only once. When it didn't work that one time I immediately ran to my teacher. He told me that I should try it at least twenty times before I would come back to him."
And so you did?
Sukumar: "Yes. The first few times I tried, again it didn't work. When something happened I reacted in the same stupid emotional way. And later on I realized: oops, I missed it again. Realizing that I missed it was the first step. Then luckily a point came where I could keep up the awareness when I became angry. I suddenly felt that I was already chewing on the reason and I thought: this is my chance! I dropped the reason and looked at my anger. What did I see? Misery! A very big force. I saw it becoming bigger, coming to a sort of climax. I did nothing, not even slowing down my breath. For a few seconds I was only observing. Then tears started coming from my eyes. I started to cry. Through the tears the compelling force of my anger was slowly getting down. The anger changed its shape and became sadness . I stayed with the sadness and the sadness disappeared into a very peaceful state. All this happened in two or three minutes. I thought: yes, this is it! But the next time I tried it didn't work again! Again I tended to get frustrated and again my teacher had to tell me that the skill of non-reacting will not come in one day."
What did developing the skill of non-reacting bring you during the years?
Sukumar: "I think that over the last ten years I became a more peaceful person. Small things with which I was getting very upset in the past are not bothering me anymore. In big situations the anger can still come up, but not with such a strength that I don't know how to deal with it. I don't know what will happen in the future. Maybe unseen forces will lead me through another ten thousand lifetimes. It doesn't matter to me. Life is easy and bearable; I become more and more comfortable with myself. And the beauty of this technique is that it can be applied in all kind of situations. Maybe you think: anger is no my problem; it is something else, fear, confusion or whatever. It doesn't matter. Whatever reaction comes up, it is the same thing that you have to do. You will discover the worthiness of just remaining with the feeling."
By staying with the feeling without reacting?
Sukumar: "Yes! Try it! I know it is not always easy. It can be very difficult sometimes. Like everything that you tried for the first time seemed to be impossible, right? Just keep on trying and you will see that it works. After a while it becomes easier. It might take years , maybe even thirty, forty years. But is there anything better you can do for the next thirty, forty years? Make your life a dedication to this practice. When all your energy is dedicated to this goal it will catch up strength and go faster. After a long time you don't have to do it as a conscious practice anymore. The pattern goes into the involuntary levels, it becomes your second nature. That is liberation."
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